Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thoughts and Feelings

I am sorry I have not posted. I have been in such a funk since the miscarriage. I can not seem to get out of this state of depression. I am just so mad and sad at the same time. I keep asking myself why me. It is questions that can not be answered. With all the problems that I have (MTHFR, PCOS, endometriosis, thyroid) and no one wanting to really fix them. All I get is lets try again. My mind is telling me something more is wrong and I can not even get the doctors to check my sugars. I am going to call on Monday and demand a diabetes test be done. My Mom is a nurse and I have told her what is going on with all symptoms and she tells me I am diabetic. I have a history of diabetes in my family I am shocked no one is willing to check my sugars.

I do feel I am not able to get out of this funk due to not posting. So I am going to be posting more and more. I feel this will help me to weed out my feelings and get them out. I have a bad habit of holding everything in until I pop and that I need to correct. I have to stop doing that. I am just making it worse if you know what I mean. Well that is all for tonight. I will post what I find out when I call the Doctor on Monday.

Baby Dust to ALL!!!


Stacie said...

I do that, too. I hold everything in until I explode. I force myself to write my feelings out on my blog because I know it is better for me in the long run. I hope it helps you as much as it helps me. :-)

Hugs to you. Good luck with the doctors on Monday. It seems to me that this should be something they'd check for, too. It is such an easy thing to check for! Sigh. Be strong and don't let them tell you no!

Dawn said...

I can understanding holding things in. Sometimes it's hard to express how you feel when you're not even sure yourself. I hope things go well with the Dr. today. Put your foot down you are paying them!

Renee said...

Hugs Jen.

I know exactly what you are saying. My blog posting got shorter and shorter cause I have been so negative lately. I didn't want to share the gloom with everyone else.

but really this is our space to let it all out. Dont hold back. being an IFer is a roller coaster ride and it's not all good.

That is what we are here for...It's like a diary that talks back to you.


Wendy said...

Hi - I'm so sorry you are in a funk right now. We have all been in the clouds and understand that sometimes posting is good for our healing but also not posting is good for healing too. I'm glad you are taking your health into your own hands and I think you should go after what your gut is telling you. Doctors are great but they don't live in your shoes. Good luck!

Nicole said...

Glad to see you are blogging again and I hope you get some answers real soon! **hugs**

twondra said...

I hope you get answers and I hope you're able to get a diabetes test. I'm thinking of you! (((HUGS)))